? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
