Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
