Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We had to coat check the pizza.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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