Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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