I want to make a zoo with you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
