The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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