It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wear drunk well.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
