You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
