come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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