If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
