Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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