More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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