Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You're like the curious george of whores
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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