Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
please come you make the beer taste better
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
