Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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