Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
