I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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