Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
