That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
