I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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