Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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