it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
