You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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