dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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