1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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