During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
