I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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