Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
