What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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