I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
