Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
