my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
cat food counts as protein by the way
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
