physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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