i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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