he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
