moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
