His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
