Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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