i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
