Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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