He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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