In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
