Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
