so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
