i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
