I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
