i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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