Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize