DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
