Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We had sex on a dog bed..
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
